#25 Sauna Zeitgeist
I try to meditate when I'm sitting in the sauna but avoiding the sauna zeitgeist is as hard as quitting smoking or Twitter.
One late evening in the sauna, a man who is one of its main characters, told me the folklore of how it went from a steam sauna to a dry sauna. The story goes that once there was a guy who kept pouring water onto the coal to the point where people couldn’t see who was sitting next to them. Another gentleman requested the guy to stop what he was doing. Upon hearing this, the guy took his bucket, filled it up again, and poured the entirety of it onto the coal. The young gentleman who had made the previous request flung a fist through the mist that knocked out the man with the bucket. Both were suspended, and the steam sauna era ended.
Solid urban folklore, but most times, saunas are a social situation where people take the improv technique of yes and (accepting what has already been said and building on it) to comical extends. This, I believe, happens because they can’t stand to argue with each other in the middle of all this sweating. The other day I heard three guys, who looked alike to me through the beads of sweat dripping down my eyes, talk about how they all own podcast equipment. The conversation crescendoed when one of them suggested that they record a podcast in the sauna.
"People say the most interesting things in here," said one.
"I've once brought a digital camera in here, and it works pretty well in the heat," another chimed in without missing a beat or thinking about the implications of bringing a camera where people hang out almost naked.
"we should do it."
"we should do it."
"we should do it."
The phrase echoed until the much dreaded awkward pause followed. One of the podcast bros got down from his perch and filled the silence with, "alright I gotta go."
"..but we should do it, man"
Whenever a guy punctuates a sentence with "man" I know everyone is in for a sermon.
"Covid was such a scam man."
"The city is full of tech bros man."
"what's up with women, man"
I've never seen any of these devolve into arguments in the sauna. So I sit there thinking about the man who landed the knockout blow that laid the foundations for where I find myself. Is he still around? Would he have lunged across like Achilles on the beaches of Troy upon hearing one of these sermons?
I like to think that everyone remembers a time they felt borderline enlightened after a sauna session. They have been chasing that feeling ever since. For me, it was an early Sunday morning. There were no main characters or podcast bros around. I practiced expanded awareness for 20 mins and stood in the cold shower for another 10. Then I got into my car, listened to the last record that Pharoah Sanders ever put out, and thought about the girl I was going to see later that morning. Now I sit here smack in the middle of zoomer kids who seem to travel in packs and chatter louder than the thoughts in my brain. I just want to sweat. Man.